Okay, lets get something straight here: I’ve never played Magic: The Gathering. I saw people playing it in high school, but was too busy with Walkmans and Gameboys to join in. I’m sure the game is fun, but I never became part of the competitive, card-collecting scene, even when the Pokemon fad was in full swing. Therefore, this review is coming from a complete noob - someone who never played previous versions of Duels of the Planeswalkers, or even realised they existed.
From what I can tell, this game is unadulterated Magic: the Gathering. Sure, there’s some kind of story, but it’s mainly just battling foes, collecting cards, and customising your deck. It starts with a horribly-cheesy fantasy opening, setting the scene, and almost putting me off altogether. The tutorial is no better, with cringe-worthy voice over and omission of certain key facts (for example, when do I get to draw a card? I still haven’t figured that out). Thankfully, it’s not long before the uninitiated become trained in the basics and ready for a real fight.
I’m not going to explain the full rules of the game, but the premise is quite simple: Within your turn you can play land cards, which increase your available mana; creature cards, which can attack your opponent; and other cards, which either boost your abilities or hinder your opponent in some way. Over the course of a match, you build up your mana store, dispatch an army of creatures, and reduce your opponent’s health to zero. There’s actually a lot more to it, and I’m amazed at how quickly I went from “What the hell is going on?” to “Yeah, bitch - Take my armour-boosted Sentinel Spider!”.
The example I gave is not an exaggeration. After playing for about an hour, my fiancé (who was apparently listening from the other room) told me that I was having a full-on conversation with myself as I played, and being rather verbally-abusive to my virtual foe. This should stand as a testament to the fun I was having. I found it quite surprising - when I began, it seemed like an overly-complicated game with a far-too-dry fantasy element, but once the rules made sense, I turned into a trash-talking, magic-summoning badass.
It really is quite addictive - like a complex, turn-based RPG battle, where you plan your moves, watch your opponent, and hope your strategic plays work out as planned. As you finish battles, more cards are unlocked, so your duels become richer and more complex.
Unfortunately, there’s something important missing from this virtual adaptation of the popular game - namely, the cards. Sure, I haven’t played this particular game before, but I know the thrill that comes from holding a deck and laying down physical cards. I also know (from the hours I witnessed it in school) that half the fun comes from collecting - saving up your pocket money and hoping the next pack you buy contains that rare, super-powerful wizard, or Charizard; the fun of comparing decks with your friends, and reciting the well-known chant of “Got it, got it, need it, got it….” That’s something lost in Duels of the Planeswalkers.
But you can collect, you just do it with the fun thing known as ‘microtransactions”. Yeah, that’s right - after you become hooked, just enter your credit card number to purchase awesome new decks. Not only that, but as you play, advertisements appear for the real Magic: the Gathering game, with links to buy it right now. It’s a shame that a stand-alone game quickly becomes a tool to bleed you of more money, but I suppose it’s a fair business strategy. After all, now that we’ve become initiated, why wouldn’t we purchase an actual deck?
But let’s ignore the obvious attempts to suck us dry of our hard-earned money - the fact is, as a game, Duels of the Planeswalkers is a lot of fun. I can understand why kids used to play it during lunch, rather than frolick in the sun or play jumpers-as-goal-posts football. I’m not going anywhere near the multiplayer mode, as I’m sure a 40-year-old kid who still lives in his mum’s basement will kick the living shit out of me, but I’ve had much enjoyment pounding the clichéd fantasy badguys into the ground.
So that’s my initiation into Magic: the Gathering. It went a lot smoother than I thought, and I’m actually looking forward to unlocking more decks and playing on higher difficulties. Who would have known?
